


Fucking Cat

by cecilantro



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Eventual cuddles, The entire m9 is touch starved but esp fjord and caleb, Using your familiar as proxy for physical contact
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-29 21:06:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20088772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cecilantro/pseuds/cecilantro
Summary: Fjord closes his eyes and picks Frumpkin up. He cuddles the cat close to him- thecat, for fjuck’s sake-and sighs.There is silence for a few seconds, and when Fjord opens his eyes, Caleb’s piercing blue gaze is fixed on his and he has a hand extended to him.Fjord does not pause to think before he takes it.





	Fucking Cat

Frumpkin signifies both Caleb’s arrival and his emotional vulnerability before he even comes in the room. Fjord is thankful for both the cat- the _ cat _\- and Calianna’s generous gift of various spices and herbs, as Frumpkin curls around his ankles first and then hops into his lap. There is a five second pause of pure purring from the cat loaf before the door to the library opens.

Fjord knows he’s a mess. He’s scarred to fuck from their travels, he’s dishevelled, his hair is fucked up and he’s pretty sure there's still a couple of odd tears drying on his face. He cradles his arms around Frumpkin, gently, tries not to gather him up like a child and fails to resist the urge. He craves any sort of interaction or reassurance. This is how Caleb does both.

“Hallo.”  
  
He closes the door behind him as he moves in. Fjord looks up, trying to look and seem normal.

“Hey.”

Caleb moves across the void of the room slowly, like approaching a dangerous animal. He keeps a few feet of distance, but Frumpkin’s purring deepens significantly as the light catches the damp patches on Fjord’s cheeks.

“Are you doing alright?” Caleb asks and shifts closer by a foot or so. Fjord’s face wrinkles a little,

“I’m fine, I’m doing fine. Why would you ask?”

Caleb waits for a moment before he comes and takes a seat, a little closer.

“I have been thinking about Mollymauk,” He says honestly, “And the Shepherds.”

Fjord winces. Even with his magic, he was too weak to protect them.  
  
Frumpkin bumps his head under Fjord’s chin, catching his attention. So Caleb noticed.

“I have been thinking about how they died,” Caleb clarifies, eyes on his hands, fiddling in his lap, “And how I still feel I should have done more. I know, realistically, I couldn’t have. But I feel responsible, and I know that you feel this way too.”

“Yes,” Fjord agrees, quietly, “That’s… my feelings exactly. I feel like I could have done more, even though I couldn’t do anything.”

Caleb gives a little smile of reassurance.

“I thought that you might understand. Yes, I have been thinking about them. Do you think, perhaps… they came back, again?”

“I don’t know,” Fjord muses, “I think, if they remembered us, they would have done their damndest to find us.”

“If they remembered us,” Caleb points out, “And, additionally, the note we left did tell them to wait in Zadash. We have not been back since just after their death.”

“True.” Fjord gives a soft sigh, lets a few moments of silence and cat scritches stretch before, “I miss them.”

Caleb’s eyes flicker to Fjord and meet his for but a moment,

“You were close, were you not? I recall you shared a bed.”

“I don’t know how close you can get to someone you know for barely a month,” Fjord flashes a smile, “But yes. They- hm. Molly was… one of the only- the first person to tell me that… I think they were joking-”

“Think, first. You will panic less.”

Fjord takes a breath,  
“They told me once, the power came from inside me. I think they were joking but… nobody had ever said that before. Nobody believed in me like that until them. Until you. The Nein,” he gestures at the walls of the Xhorhaus. 

“I would like to believe that they’re living it up in Zadash,” Caleb’s gaze lifts, smiling, “Taking many… massages. Visiting the bath house often. Avoiding the war.”

“I hope so.” Fjord closes his eyes and picks Frumpkin up. He cuddles the cat close to him- the _ cat, for fjuck’s sake _\- and sighs. 

There is silence for a few seconds, and when Fjord opens his eyes, Caleb’s piercing blue gaze is fixed on his and he has a hand extended to him.

Fjord does not pause to think before he takes it.

There is something bone-deep and satisfying about the warm touch of another person. A kind touch, with no expectation behind it. He is learning to believe that part. But he knows that Caleb is not Avantika, that this touch does not demand the emotional labour, does not demand the sex that she did. This is Caleb, reaching out to a <strike>tool</strike> friend. He holds Caleb’s hand tight and is afraid to ever let go.

“You know,” Caleb’s voice sounds thicker than usual, “It took time, getting used to. But I think that I like this voice better. This _ you _ better. Because it is you. It is the truth. And though I- I understand, wishing to bury yourself away… I- I like you. I would like you to stick around.”

“I want to stick around.” Fjord half-echoes, “I don’t want to be alone.”

“We will not let you be. We will not let you leave.” There is a smile to Caleb’s voice and he squeezes Fjord’s hand, “We have lost a friend already. You are ours, and we do not intend to lose you too.”

There is another pause. Pregnant, awkward, before Fjord tugs gently at Caleb’s hand. Caleb, though hesitant, does move from his chair and shifts to sit on the edge of Fjord’s, half sat _ on _ him and finds Frumpkin purring in the somewhat squished place between his chest and Fjord’s own.  
Fjord has wrapped his arms around Caleb’s shoulders and pulled him in, tucked Caleb’s head under his own chin and waits until Caleb awkwardly, slowly, shifts an arm around Fjord too.

“Don’t die, Caleb.” is all that Fjord can think to squeeze out.

“I don’t intend to.” Caleb replies stiffly. Fjord does not let go, and over a minute or so, Caleb slowly relaxes into the warm, loose grip. He closes his eyes and lets the moment just _ be_.

“You cannot die either. You know that.”

He does not make it a question, and when Fjord chuckles, it reverberates through him.

“I know.”

“Jester will bring you back and then kill you again.”

“I know.”

They let time draw over them, until parting feels natural, not painful. Caleb avoids Fjord’s eyes, still, as he stands with his cat.

“Just- ah- so that you are… aware. My bedroom door is always unlocked for you. Not for- not for sex. But I know- I feel, at least, that you miss Mollymauk. And that you miss a warm presence beside you just for the sake of being there. And if not me…” he gesture to Frumpkin, “For as long as the herbs hold up, my cat is happy to be your company. I am sure, if you ask Caduceus, he will be happy to join you, too. Jester, also, but possibly-”

_“Hhauh_,_”_ Fjord says, emphatically.

“Yes, that was what I thought.” Caleb smiles. There is but a second of pause before he makes the quick decision and steps over, quickly, to kiss the top of Fjord’s head just as he does with Nott.

“Family,” he says, firmly, as he steps back and pretends not to notice Fjord’s welling tears.

“Family,” Fjord agrees, voice thick with the unfamiliarity of the word.

_“Guten Nacht, Schatz.”_ Caleb says softly, and shifts out of the door. Frumpkin remains on the inside, and makes his way back to Fjord’s ankles.

Fjord watches the door click closed and scratches Frumpkin’s ears.

With feeling, he declares, “Fucking cat.”


End file.
